Nothing so unusual about a dog walk on a Sunday morning with some friends, only this walk happened to be very different indeed.
A Beder Walk in fact, so named when a young man called Beder took his own life at just 18 years of age. Naturally, his family were completely devastated and during their long grieving process, it became apparent that they wanted to establish a charity in his name (Beder) to confront the mental health crisis that took his life, so that other families do not experience a similar fate and their unending pain.
We met Razzak Mirjan at one of Sam’s supper clubs in London. Razzak founded the charity and speaks passionately about his younger brother and the need to help others. We liked their goal and ambition albeit it's an overwhelming task and ever moving target given that mental illness is so hard to diagnose and treat. And that there appears to be something of a perfect storm of circumstances which are confronting young people.
Everyone has an opinion on what is the root cause for poor mental health. The internet and social media tops most lists and particularly that bullying now extends its reach from the school playground into the home which is supposed to be a safe haven. The smart phone has not been the great liberator it promised to be.
Classic bullying is physical. Being pushed around. But now in this internet age, bullying is much more likely to be loneliness, social exclusion and public humiliation. Experiencing such things can lead to dark and difficult places. It diminishes confidence and self-esteem and this compounds a downwards spiral.
Hence the Beder Walk.
As simple as just a walk in the park. Nothing too rigorous. Only an hour or so, from an agreed starting place and which everyone is welcome to attend, including dogs but no phones. This inaugural Beder Walk took place last weekend when we invited a bunch of our friends and young people to meet in Richmond Park.
As Razzak gave a short welcoming speech about his younger brother, his charity and what he hoped to achieve with the Beder Walk, I was struck by the number of people present that I knew have first-hand experience of losing someone to suicide.
One of my oldest and closest friends who died in lockdown. A doctor friend of my mate, Jon. My nephews friend who died earlier this year. The boyfriend of the daughter of one of Nikki’s closest school friends…
Also present were young people who have suffered with various conditions such as eating disorders and acute anxiety.
And even though walking is good for us, we are not so naïve to think that a simple walk is going to be a cure for ailing mental health. But it can be a start and a pathway to an ultimate cure and a more successful and productive life.
A chance to meet people in person. To chat with people who might share similar fears and circumstances. To laugh with others. To pat a dog and find out its name and throw it a ball or a stick. Just to talk to someone in person and not on a screen…
Such Mental Health walks are not new. There is one in our area founded by a dad whose own suicide attempt failed – and so grateful was he, that he wanted to share his story to help others and conceived a walk for this purpose. He announced his walk – a time and place and he invited anyone to attend who might be struggling and might benefit from some company.
To begin with, each week, he waited alone because no one showed up. But he kept on attending just in case someone did arrive, in need of some time and a friendly ear.
Word spread and this ongoing walk now regularly attracts many people each week. Just attending is probably a breakthrough for some as an admission that they need support. And who knows the impact that these walks are having. Even saving lives with some men still their families because of them.
This is the ambition we have for the Beder Walk. That our Beder Walk will become a regular thing – monthly to begin with and propagated through our web site and media channels – something that young people will become aware of and attend if they feel the need.
And we hope that our Beder Walk might be replicated by other organisers elsewhere and all over the place to help young people who are lonely or marginalised and are needing help.
