Video by Raw Pixels
Undoubtedly, words are powerful and can even be mightier than the sword as the adage goes.
Thankyou is certainly a powerful word, albeit it is two words, ‘thank’ and ‘you’ and is a common literary mistake.
My Ted talk focussed on simple words but with powerful effects. Please, thank you, hello and goodbye. Plus, make eye contact and if you know someone’s name, then you should use it. These are good skills to acquire for young boys as they grow up into hopefully decent adults.
An even more powerful word than ‘thankyou’ is sorry. A word which is too absent from too many vocabularies, perhaps because we fear it makes us weak and vulnerable when it very often has the opposite effect. Contrition is glaringly absent from our political masters and our world is always poorer for it.
But I want to concentrate on gratitude for this blog and this brings me to our Brothers Trust event last Sunday – a screening of Spider-Man No Way Home.
Months in the planning. We had booked a salubrious London cinema. Tom had returned from the States because without him, it was just another trip to the cinema and not so exciting. Invitations had been dispatched to various charities and the young people in their care. Videographer and photographer with instant printing capabilities booked. Goodie bags booked, thanks to our supporter, M&S. A sweepstake was arranged to raise some funds. A chance for one family to win flights, a hotel, spending money, tickets to the screening and the chance to meet Tom…
And then, on a wet Sunday morning, everything came together. Kids and their carers streamed in. All 250 of them. All excited and some no doubt, a little anxious.
Children with an array of illnesses and conditions. Some whose ailments were glaringly apparent, and others more hidden, like poverty. We met some of the poorest kids of one of the world’s richest cities. Some children were so ill, they had come from hospital and where they must return to afterwards. Some children with terminal diagnoses, attending with their traumatised siblings and parents'.
The whole occasion is chastening and certainly pricks my personal woe bubble - for a moment or two, at least.
The remit of The Brothers Trust is to raise awareness of causes plus funds and to provide memorable experiences for children blighted by illness or life circumstances. Some of you will recall James Dunn, who finally succumbed to his EB in 2017. James took morphine all his life, but he explained that the only thing that fully took away his pain was distraction. To be excited about something allowed him to momentarily forget his pain…
Like visiting a plush cinema to watch a Spider-Man movie and then to meet its star.
Back to the Future is a wonderful film and one that had a big impact on me. It left me on such a high I think I floated out of the cinema. Sure, I wanted a De Lorean sports car but what I really wanted was to be Michael J. Fox. I was in awe of him, and I was 18 at the time so not such an impressible child.
And with this is mind, I tried to imagine the excitement of the children attending last Sunday. To watch the movie, for some kids it would have been their first trip to a movie theatre… and then to meet Tom afterwards and ask him questions, creating indelible memories, no doubt.
And to my point, you might be wondering…
My point about gratitude, and on this, you will be relieved that my thrust is not Tom or any of the Holland family being thanked.
To make this point, I refer to a sage observation by Harry, made after the event.
We were dwelling on the day in general, and particularly Tom’s Q n A after the movie. Given how Marty McFly had made me swoon, it must have been bamboozling to suddenly encounter the young actor who’d they just watched vanquishing the villains and saving the world. Some kids were too shy. Some couldn’t be understood and needed help. Others were exuberant and unabashed. And some were plain cheeky…
‘When are you going to propose to Zendaya?’
‘How much do you earn...?"
A packed cinema, with people from all over. Our sweepstake winners from LA. Kids who’d flown in from Florida via the Make a Wish foundation. A family from Belfast and from all over the UK and beyond. All travelling to see Spider-Man on screen and in person. All beguiled by Tom and beholden to his every word.
And to Harry’s observation…
‘For Tom, to have this kind of impact on people. To have a full cinema packed to the rafters. For people to fly in. Get up at stupid-o-clock to arrive on time. To have all these people, so excited to meet you and have a photograph with you… that’s a real privilege.’
This struck me as true and very wise.
Via Tom’s popularity and reach, that we have been able to establish The Brothers Trust has been a privilege for us all. To see the effect that such experiences have on young people and to witness the impacts that our grants have is also a privilege. And only made possible by our supporters and Tom’s fans and so this privilege can be shared far and wide.
Which is why we don’t need to be thanked and sometimes we feel churlish when people expend considerable energies extolling our virtues.
It’s nice to be thanked, of course it is. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. Nikki and I have enjoyed reading the kind comments from attendees on various platforms and in various kind emails we have received.
But being thanked per se is unnecessary because TBT serves us as much as any of the people whom we are to support.
The same applies to any pride we feel for Tom and his achievements. Yes, we are proud of him, of how he speaks and how well he interacts with these children and makes them feel.
And to the point which is occasionally put to me…
‘…but he doesn’t have to do this.’
Yes, he does.
He needn’t do it, but he should because it makes him more whole, and being more complete is a life worth living and what we should all strive for.
This privilege that Tom enjoys is something I enjoy also in being able to write this blog and share it with my patrons.
And finally, as per usual, your comments to this blog are welcome – but I hope you'll realise that no thank yous are necessary to either Tom or Team Holland more generally.
